Feast of Our Lady of Mount Carmel

We are blest to have two cloistered orders of nuns living so close to us.  The Pink Sisters live right in town and the Carmelites live about thirty minutes away.  The feast of Our Lady of Mount Carmel was on Saturday, and for the nine days leading up to July 16th, there is Mass every evening out at the Carmelite monastery.

Going out there is truly like a little glimpse of heaven.  Driving out on the rolling gravel hills, looking at the top of each hill for the beautiful dome of the monastery.  It is so peaceful and quiet.  And it is here that the Carmelite nuns pray.  Their life is very simple.  They don't leave the walls of the monastery.  They pray, eat, pray, do chores, pray, sleep, and pray some more.  I crave the rhythm of their days.  How different our days are, the nuns and mine.  I think of them often.  What their life must really be like to pray and be silent most of the day.  As opposed to mine that are full of messes, chaos, and loudness, and that's just with the children.  Not to mention the daily distraction that goes on inside of my brain.  Thinking about this and that, what I need to do, need to go buy, need to get ready for, need to make for meals, need to plan, need to do to the house, and the list goes on and on.  I squeeze time in for my prayers and to pray the rosary, but definitely don't spend the majority of my day in conversation with God.  What would He have to say to me if I gave Him more of my attention?



I was able to take just Thomas and Annie, as Mass didn't even begin until 7pm and we thought that the younger ones would have a difficult time with it being so late.  We, on the other hand, had a wonderful time together.  Whenever I am alone with just one or two of them, I'm reminded just how important and fun it is to spend time with them alone.  I watch them more, and listen to them a bit better.  I try to let them talk and talk until their thought is finished instead of having to interrupt them. 



Our Lady appeared to Saint Simon Stock long ago in the 1200's.  In her arms were two things.  One was the Christ Child, and the other was a scapular.  She gave the scapular to Simon with the promise that whosoever dies wearing the scapular shall not suffer eternal fire. 

As we were leaving, Annie noticed wild flowers growing in the ditch.  She begged to stop and go pick one for pop.  It was darling.



And we thought the perfect end to our special night would be stopping at Starbucks for a Carmel Machiattio....of course.

Our Lady of Mount Carmel, pray for us!

The Depth of a Mothers Heart

No one told me as a newly married young mother, how much worrying would accompany having children.  Or, come to think of if, maybe there were wise mothers who whispered to me how when you love someone so much, you will worry about their safety, the state of their souls, their health, their ability to learn, and their protection, among a thousand other things.  Maybe I was just too giddy thinking of babies to really listen to them.

Sometimes I wish I would have listened a little more carefully and pondered a bit more about the suffering and worry that children would bring.  But other times I'm so grateful for that bliss full period in my life.  Newly married, a wonderful first pregnancy, loving my husband, grocery shopping together for fun, fixing up our first home together....bliss full I tell you.

And then our first was born.  And life takes on a whole new meaning at that very second.  The realization slams you in the face that YOU are the reason this tiny thing even exists (along with God who created them of course) and that they will depend on you for everything.  Everything. 

I remember the very first time I truly worried about Thomas.  He was six months old.  He woke up in the middle of the night one evening and through the dark I could tell that something was wrong with him.  I tore off his feet jammies and saw red blotches covering his body.  We called my mom, asked her what we should do, she told us to take him to the ER, and off we went.  Holding my baby in the front seat while TJ navigated our car through the snow drifts to the emergency room.  I was scared.



Each child comes into the world with their own thing.  Their own issues, if you will.  Allergic to peanuts.  Asthma.  Dairy intolerant.  Eczema.  Now multiply that by four, in my case, which leads to multiple causes for worrying about them.  And I'm pregnant, which in itself is a whole category for worry.  Wondering if the baby is growing and living and thriving inside of me.  Thomas is allergic to cats, dogs, trees, grass, and the biggest one...peanuts.  Not to mention that he has asthma which provides him the luxury of hauling around his medicine chest full of inhalers, benedryl, epi pen, ect. wherever he goes.  George is dairy intolerant, we think.  No ice cream, milk, yogurt.  Annie has had a terrible case of hives a few years ago and the only thing the doctors could determine was she reacted to the watermelon she ate that day.  No watermelon, or other melons for Annie since.  And Evelyn, oh Evelyn.   She has had a rough June to say the least.  After a camping trip, we discovered that she had gotten Lyme Disease.

Let the worrying begin.  I'm terribly worried all the time about their health.  From the stomach flu to cancer.  We've spent the last month pumping her full of medicines to kill the Lyme, while at the same time she had a reaction to a bug bite, and then hives all over her body around the Fourth of July.  Every single day I look at her and wonder what is wrong with you?  Are you alright?  It's a constant state of worry for me.  We've just realized that the medicine she first was on was not the right one and for not nearly long enough to actually kill the Lyme.  Worry. Worry. Worry.  Luckily I have a wonderful doctor who was very compassionate and understanding and had no problem putting her on the other medication. 

I try and bury the worry deep down somewhere inside of me.  When people ask, how are you and your family?  I respond with a were doing good....  to cover up my worry and push it back down.  

The other morning I realized that I have neglected to pray for Evelyn.  I've talked with my mom and aunt, who first hand is dealing with caring for her daughter-in -law who has Lyme Disease.  I've talked with doctors and friends, trying to figure out what she could be reacting to, but have I begged God for His help?  Have I spent time with Him, the one who can truly help?

 

I started praying, asking, begging to have faith and trust.  To remember that He has entrusted these children to us with no guarantee for how long.  To do our best, and let God do the rest.  I began to ask Mary for her motherly protection for our children.  That She care for them even better than I.  That She help me to trust that our children will be alright.

I am very aware of the fact that even though our children all have their issues, they are basically healthy, happy, holy little people.  They can walk, talk, eat, play, read, sleep, and live.  They are beautiful individuals.  I refuse to let worrying rob me of enjoying them and watching them grow.  I refuse to let it scare me from having more children. I refuse to dwell on the what if's and instead practice trusting in God to care for them and protect their souls.  A good friend of mine pointed out something to me the other day.  She said, Kristi, you are not upstairs in you bed, sucking your thumb, because you are afraid.  You are sitting outside with them, enjoying them.  You are using the Grace that God has given you to get through this.

He is in Heaven

The 4th of July has gone on for about three days now, at our house.  We've celebrated on the driveway the past two nights with friends, food and fireworks and now we're gearing up for tonight as well.  TJ is so happy to sit outside and watch our children play.  Give him a Bush Light Tall Boy, put some country music on in the background, and even give him a cigar and just watch the stress melt away from his body. 

Notice her rump?  Someone forgot to put on a swim diaper....

TJ brings to attention the dead frog in the street and how they should try and blow him up.  Make him jump one last time...and did he ever.

A bonus about letting the kids stay outside until 11:00pm the past two nights is that they actually have SLEPT IN!!!  Thus my productivity these mornings.  I've gotten up, started coffee, laundry, unloaded dishes, picked up kitchen, and prayed the rosary.  Still no one.  So I head downstairs to the computer until I see or hear someone.  It's 9:00 right now.  Lovely.

Oh Boy is He Having Fun

Hope you are too!  Enjoy the Fourth!

Happy Birthday George

June 26th 2007, our George Harold was born.  Four years ago.  I can hardly believe it. 

I love how he calls the number four, number one.  Let me explain.  You all know his infatuation with the Green Bay Packers.  He wears packer jerseys every day.  Most of them are old ones from Thomas who had Brett Favre's jersey, which is number four.  George has grown up looking at the number four, but calling it number one, since the Packers are number ONE, of course.  It was cute in the beginning, but now I'm a bit worried we've messed him up for good!

I love you George.  I love so many things about you.  I love that you suck your thumb only at night.  I love that you have to hold onto your blanket and will search with eyes closed until your hand finds the right spot where you hold it.  I love that you play with your cars all the time.  I love to watch your hands hold them and drive them around.  I love that you call your stars wars guys storm troopers, clomtroopers, a mix between storm troopers and clones.  I love that you are an over laughter, you know, the kind that force themselves to laugh at everything, it's loud and goes on and on.  I love how you love golf and football.  I love that you usually sleep in, in the mornings, something your brother and sisters don't know about.  I love that you are left handed.  I love that your favorite color is green and how whenever given a choice on a color for something you say, I want green because its my favorite.  I love your voice.  It's deep, and the way you say words long and drawn out makes me smile every time.  I love your excitement about.....everything.  You think so many things are so cool.



And here's where I bite my toung and say these through gritted teeth....

I love how you throw a fit in the mornings if you have to get dressed in something OTHER than Packer attire.  I love how you can't sit still at Mass.  I love how you grab toys away from your siblings and then give them a big swat when they want them back.  I love how you pretty much don't eat any vegetables. I love how you use bathroom talk when you are being goofy with your friends.  I love how it takes you two hours to get into bed some nights and how you refuse to stay in bed. I love how you unbuckle your seat belt while I'm driving....all the time. 

 

Because George, I truly am thankful for your life.  Both the good and the bad make you who you are.  I prayed so hard to be able to have another child.  And here you are.  You are such a good, loving, sweet boy who also can make me very frustrated.  But that doesn't stop me from loving you.  EVER.  I love EVERYTHING about you, both the loveliness and the ugliness at times.  You are a very special boy, my third child, and I'm so happy that I get to watch you grow up and listen to your sweet voice daily.    



The Start to a Fun Weekend

She has a new love, babies.  Wrapping them up, placing them into car seat carriers, and changing diapers, usually followed by a generous swipe of Desitin....of course.

The anticipation of the 4th of July brings out the pyro in him.  All of a sudden he is obsessed with lighting things on fire, supervised of course.

And walla....our very first red tomato has made it's appearance in our garden.  We went out the other morning to check on the ladies and this little gem was hidden deep within the middle of the plant.  We cheered.



Thomas sliced and divided the little thing into four parts so we all could try our first tomato.  Bite size scrumptious.

This morning TJ and I sat outside for a while by ourselves, sipping coffee and reading the paper.  It is so peaceful and beautiful, mornings are most definitely my favorite time of day.

I especially like seeing them wander downstairs after a good long sleep, voice hoarse, hair rumpled, and zoned out.

This morning, TJ had the day off.  It was great having him home with us.  He decided that he wanted to smoke a beef brisket ALL DAY LONG.  That would make him happy, he said.  So on the gigantic piece of meat went, at 8:30am.



And it didn't come off until 10:30 pm. I'm glad that made him happy.

We've been doing a lot of swimming this past month.  Almost every day, we head to the pool around 3:30/4:00.  A lot of people have left by then, and I send Thomas and Annie off to the big pool while I hang back with George and Evie in the baby pool.  The baby pool is the place to be, let me tell you.  Lots of mom conversation happening as we sit around the edge of the pool with one eye on the children and the other on the person you are chatting with.  It's so fun.

With the weather nice and hot, we are looking forward to a fun filled long holiday weekend.  Eating LOTS of meat, shooting off LOTS of fireworks, are in the plan.  Have a wonderful July 4th weekend!