Mornings

There is something very therapeutic for me about rising before anyone else in the house.  When the sun is still absent from the sky, but the beginnings of light are just beginning to peek over the horizon.  It's quiet, peaceful, and calm.  It's when I like to run, think, pray, and of course, enjoy a cup of coffee.  Some mornings I work out with friends where we enjoy each others company while sweating, and other mornings I head out solo to run around our boulevard.  I'm 21 weeks pregnant and still able to run a few miles, so I'm going for as long as my body, and baby, will let me!  Although my run is more of a waddle jog these days....

Laura, Jarod and Andrew were here this weekend.  Two green bellies equal two great tables for coffee!

Annie has be liking word searches lately. 

A nice, yummy breakfast after running.  I'll have one of these every morning, please. 

And as if I haven't been baking and eating enough lately, we decided to make a Sunday pie while the boys were golfing.  Peach pie.

A lovely Sunday indeed.  Nothing profound, just fun spending time with family.

And speaking of working out with friends in the mornings....
It was my dear friend, Kim's birthday this week.  It happened to be on one of the mornings that Janel, Mary, Laurie and I work out together on, and we got to be the first ones to celebrate her birthday...since it was like 5:30 in the morning. 

On this particular morning though, it was raining.  Let me restate that, it was pouring down buckets of rain and the thunder and lightning was the loudest I have EVER heard.  We met anyways, Kim has a covered area in her backyard that we work out in, so we thought we'd be just fine.  After five minutes, we all looked at each other after noticing the fountain of water streaming down the back of her covered patio, and we knew it was over. 



So instead of working out, we spent an hour sitting around her kitchen table, eating banana muffins with cream cheese frosting, and drinking coffee.  We sang happy birthday to her and I truly felt like I was ten years old again and at a friends birthday party.  The nostalgia of it all was priceless.  Soaking wet and sleepy eyed, we chatted the wee morning hour away. 

Happy birthday Kim!

My Favorite Gift... the Weather

Last December looked like this......

Lots of fun for the kids to play in, but not so much fun for a guy with only a shovel.....Luckily we have two great neighbors who came and helped TJ with their snowblower and bobcat!

It's a world of difference this December. Today was a beautiful, lovely day. The perfect kind of day for going to the pond and fishing, don't you think? Thomas and Annie made a fishing pole and we heading to the pond by our house.

Even though we were hat-less and glove-less, the water was still frozen. So they ditched the fishing poles and had fun on the ice instead.

This morning I met Janel and Laurie for a run. I alomst didn't get out of bed, but thank goodness I did! It was a whopping 53 degrees at 5:30. And, I did somthing I've NEVER done. I was so hot while we ran that I took off my fleece. Gasp. I never shed clothing....I think I've said before how I'm the silly looking one who will run with hat and gloves and fleece on while my friends are wearing tank tops and shorts. It was that beautiful out! I am so grateful for this mild winter we are having so far. It's so nice to get out and enjoy the weather.

Why I Really Run

What keeps me going and getting up as early as 4:45 in the morning on some days to run, you might ask?
Well, it's getting to meet these lovely ladies to run, pray, and talk about our thoughts, anxieties, hopes, fears, and anything else. I run with Janel and Laurie three days a week. I look forward to those mornings.....even though it means getting out of bed.....early.

My body goes on auto pilot those mornings. I get out of bed to shut off my alarm that is beeping at 4:45. Usually, I slip back into my warm bed for just a few more minutes of rest. Then I pop out of there and quietly and quickly pray my morning offering, change into the clothes that I laid out the night before and make my way in the dark to the downstairs. I usually start a load of laundry and the coffee (depending on how long I slipped back into bed for!) and lately I've gotten on the computer to check and see if anyone sent a message that they weren't going to make it. Then I grab a drink of water (yes, I don't brush my teeth before heading out....I won't be offended Laurie and Janel if you don't want to run with me anymore!) and then try my hardest to use the restroom. It never fails, I seem to always have to go when we are out for a run. I grab my shoes and jump in Sherman. By now the clock says 5:06. Perfect. Just enough time to make it there by 5:15. As I roll into the Scooters parking lot where we meet, I see Laurie and Janel's vehicles there and for a moment the thought pops into my head let's ditch running and go into Scooters and sit and sip coffee and talk. To my dismay, Scooters is not open yet anyways. Good thing I guess. We spend a few minutes stretching and talking about how the weather feels. We are all three different as to how we dress. Laurie and I are complete opposites, while she is wearing shorts and a tank top with a light jacket over top, I am in pants, long sleeve shirt, jacket, and stocking cap. Yes, I said stocking cap. I can't help it, my ears get really cold. And then Janel is somewhere in the middle I think. She usually wears a baseball cap and knee length shorts.

We then get going right away, mostly so we can get warm. For the first five minutes or so, I'm the one who is behind. It takes me a bit to get my body moving. I usually miss out on the first five minutes of conversation due to the fact that I am behind them AND wearing a hat that covers my ears, thus making it incredibly hard to hear what is being said. Oh well. Once I'm warmed up, I pick up the pace and then I feel great. Absolutely great. I am reminded every time that this is why I get out of bed. So I can feel my body move. I breathe, I sweat, and I feel alive. There are mornings where I am getting out of bed, having only gotten into bed four hours before. I know that I am crazy for staying up late at night and then getting up early, but the thought that always crosses my mind is that I can. I have the energy at thirty three years old to function on less sleep. I have a body right now that is healthy and in good working condition. I'm not going to waste these years. There will come a day when my energy is gone. When my body may be hurting so that I truly can't run. I will feel old. What's worse is that I will get old. For now, I'm choosing to make the most of my state in life today. And today I can get up and run.

During the week our route is about five miles. On Saturday we run seven. Saturday is my favorite. After we run, we grab purses and walk our sweaty selves into Scooters for coffee and conversation.

I look forward to my carmelicious....the thought of it keeps me running those last miles. This is what I get.....

but this is what I really want!

Thank you ladies for inspiring me and being crazy enough to get up early in the mornings to run with me. I cherish these days.

**And if any of you want to join us, we'd be delighted! The more the merrier!

a different path

It's been five months since I started running again.

I ran when I was in college, doing summer road races and around my parents house where I lived again. My sister Laura and I ran our first Half-Marathon together in 1998. One of the first things that TJ and I did together after meeting each other was to go on runs. We would run early Saturday mornings and then end up at his parents house (where he was living) only to find a scrumptious breakfast waiting for us (made by Tom!) We ran the Half-Marathon together in 2000. That was fun. Then, we get married and pregnant, and I begin to walk. Walking was good, no great actually. I have thousands of memories of me walking. Walking (rather waddling) around our neighborhood at 8 months pregnant with Thomas. Walking for an hour and a half every day while pushing him in the stroller as he slept. Walking with friends on the mo-pac trail as we all pushed our one child in the stroller. Walking with two babies in our double jogger stroller. A two year old and a baby. Watching Annie's chubby, fat, rolley polley legs get tan from laying in the stroller as I walked. Beginning my early morning routine of walking at 5:30 am when Annie was 4 months old (so I could go out alone.) Walking around and around and around and around.......(you get the picture) of the boulevard in front of our new home. Waddling around it thousands of times during my pregnancy with George and Evelyn. Bundling up and heading out in the freezing cold early mornings during the winters.

The boulevard in front of our house that I have walked/ran around probably one thousand times. It's like an old friend to me.

It's the most beautiful when the sun is just rising in the early mornings.

Which brings me to where I am now. I really had thought I was no longer a runner, but a walker. I can't do that anymore or my knees will start hurting....was my thought. Then after my miscarriage with Joseph something changed. I needed to do something. My first thought was to run. And so I just started running again, simple as that. I started coming home from my runs and writing down my thoughts. This is from the first day.

Feb. 15th 2010

It's been just one week ago since I miscarried our dear little Joseph. Since losing him, I've felt like I wanted to "do" something. I found myself eager to get back into our routine of life. Laundry, dishes, cleaning, projects with the kids. I don't know if I wanted to get my mind busy and not dwell on the fact that I am no longer pregnant, not going to have this baby in August, I really don't know. Usually, after I have a baby I dread the "getting back to normal routine." That's why I cry so hard the night before TJ has to go back to work after being home with us and the new baby for a week. The routine means that "life is back to normal." Bringing a child into the world is anything but that. So, I shocked myself a bit when I felt the desire to "do" right away. Maybe its God's way of helping to heal me? I thought. Of course the day I decide to begin running it's a balmy 12 degrees outside. Windy, cold, and snow are not exactly optimal running conditions. I am always cold. I hate being cold. But, out I went, bundled up like an Eskimo to run around the blvd six times. Despite the bitter wind blowing in my face, it felt really good. It felt really good to be outside. It's been a really long and cold winter and I feel like I haven't been outside except to take the kids to and from school. It felt good to move my body. After I ran six times around, I walked to cool down. I lifted my head up to the sky and breathed in the bitter cold air. As I was walking with my head up, I realized how much of my day is spent with my head bend down. It's down when I nurse Evelyn and stare at her face, when I'm helping with homework, while making meals, picking up toys, vacuuming the floor, reading books, ect. So as I lifted my head up and took some deep breaths, I felt alive. I was overcome with a happiness to be alive, happy to have made myself get out into the cold and run, happy to be able to walk.... run no less. Happy to have been given the chance to see and hold our fifth baby, even if only for a few minutes. I realized that I have a purpose for living. God created me for a very specific purpose. I've always known that, but now I understood it better. God created me to LOVE HIM. Love Him when life is wonderful. Love Him when He asks me to carry my cross. And I am trying to do that Lord, I am thankful for this cross of losing a child. Thank you Lord for my life. For TJ, Thomas, Annie, George, Evelyn and Jospeh. Thank you for our health. Thank you for the opportunity to be at home with our children. And thank you for the ability to run.

It helped me so much to do that. I never run listening to music, I usually pray the rosary and then just let my mind wander. I remember those first weeks of running, all I would think about was losing Joseph and how God was changing me. There was a reason why. And now, looking back, I can see that God wanted to put other people in my life during this time. Shortly after I started running, Janel sent me an email. She said that she had heard I was running and wondered if we would like to run together some time. I knew of her, but that was all. We began meeting at the MoPac trail a few mornings a week. I was surprised to find someone else who wanted to run early in the morning! We would meet at 5:15am and run five miles. You can really learn alot about a person when you are spending an hour together talking while running. We found that we really had LOTS in common. She asked me if I would like to pray the rosary together. We formed a beautiful friendship. Soon, Laurie began meeting us. Now the three of us run on Tuesdays and Thursdays together. We pray, talk and listen and encourage each other. Even better, we've added coffee at Scooters after our Saturday morning runs. That's actually my favorite part. Sitting together, all sweaty, sipping coffee and talking! Erin and I have ran a few Sat. mornings together and I always love and look forward to our conversations we have while we run. Many people have asked me how and why I wake up at 4:45 to go run. It's actually my favorite time of the day. I so love getting up, starting a pot of coffee, putting in a load of laundry, unloading the dishwasher while the house is dark and quiet. I enjoy so much the conversations we have on our runs, that now I look forward to getting up. Don't get me wrong, I'm dog tired. Especially since I usually don't get into bed until midnight. But it's worth it to me.

Last winter, when I thought about the coming August, I was picturing me adjusting to life with a newborn while having a 16 month old and three others. I was excited, and nervous. I thought about how we would work out TJ taking the kids to school so that I could let the baby, myself, George and Evie sleep in. I wondered if I would get so engorged this time around when my milk came in. I had lots of thoughts and pictured life a certain way.

It's almost August.

Life is so different than how I pictured it just a few short months ago. I've grown, changed, challegned myself, and learned what I am capable of. We always use the phrase "go with the flow" to our children to help them learn to be flexible and ultimately to trust in God. I've definitely had to practice what I preached and learn to go with the flow. God has always had a grander more beautiful plan that anything I could ever imagine. Thank you Lord for teaching me this lesson.

I see now that God was leading me along a differnt path. One that I could not have imagined only a few short months ago. I'm running down a different road. It's beautiful. Different than where I thought I would be, but beautiful.