A mother experiences great joys and intense sorrows. But if she submits her life to God, every season of her motherhood serves His eternal purpose. - Herb Vander Lugt
Having a tiny person, completely dependent upon you.
Its truly amazing.
Its a privilege and I feel honored that I was chosen by God to be the mother of these five children.
For the past ten years, I have been pregnant, watched my body expand and then shrink back to normal. I have nursed, changed diaper after stinky diaper, and comforted sick children. I have coaxed first words out of babies and witnessed first steps, first teeth, first days of school. I have worried. It makes me sick to think of the hours over these past ten years that I have spent worrying, but I have. Whether it's about their health, their souls, their temperament, or their development. So much for a mother to worry about. Ten years is a long time.
I would like to change my worry into trust. I want to trust in whatever God;s plan is. I want my motherhood to serve Him. I want to use my vocation as a mother to get to heaven. I want to have confidence that TJ and I are doing the absolute best we can to raise holy, respectful, and happy children. I want to finally stop comparing our parenting decisions and my mothering skills to any one else, because I will be the only one held accountable for my actions. I'm tired of getting frustrated, yelling at them when I feel out of control, telling them what to do over and over again. Because, lets be honest, I do these more often than not.
I think of that quote, "a mother experiences great joys and intense sorrows...." we are in a period right now of great joy. Holding my newborn all squished up in a ball high up on my shoulder, having small people in my home all day, listening to kids practice spelling words, sing, and play together. These are joys. I'm doing my darnedest to recognize these right now, fully aware that joyful times will not last forever.