I was listening to a christian radio station the other day, where a woman was briefly speaking about juggling. Not of the performer who can throw four balls into the air and keep them from falling on the ground, no, the juggling we do each day with who we are.  She said that we all juggle the many rolls we play each day.  I juggle being a mother, giving time and my attention to TJ, doctor appointments, doing fun spontaneous outings with the kids, making meals, driving to and from school, spending time with each child, laundry and keeping the house in order, and so on and so on. 

Her advice was that we not look at our life as juggling these things at all, but instead giving our full attention to the task we are performing at that moment.  If it's giving baths and doing our night routine, then I should be one hundred percent focused on that, and that alone.  The fruit that will come from that is my attention will be completely on my children who I am helping at that moment.  And hey,  I may even enjoy the bath/night routine a bit more if I look at it as the most important thing I could be doing.  Caring for my children at that moment.

How often am I doing something.... making dinner, reading to the kids, driving in Sherman, and yet my mind is thinking ten steps ahead to something that needs to get done later in the week.  I am a chronic planner-aheader.  I love to think about what is coming up.  I caught myself doing it just the other day.  I was thinking about the fall and all the food, smells, activities I want to do, instead of just enjoying RIGHT NOW.  There are only two weeks left of summer before the kids go back to school.  Oh how I will miss these two weeks in just a short while.  I want to enjoy the present, and not constantly be thinking of the future.

I got a little sad tonight as I was putting Annie to bed.  We are reading the story of Blessed Mother Theresa at bedtime and we are at the part of how she began to discern her vocation, if God was calling  her to be a Sister or not.  Annie asked me through her sleepy eyes, mom how will I know what God wants me to be?  As I was telling her how we would pray and listen to God starting now, I flashed forward to her all grown up and I got sad looking over at her sleepy eyed, wet hair, Tinker Bell jammied little body.  She is still small and young and I want so badly to one hundred percent be present with her NOW.

I want to be done juggling.  I want to be present and give myself completely to whatever it is I am doing in that moment. 

1 comment:

Lindsay said...

Stop with the cute Bev pictures already!