the night before the big day

I'm not sure why I was so sad when it happened this year. But I am. I knew it was coming...I've been fighting off the tears all evening. I don't want them to go back to school. This summer has been truly an enjoyable one for me, for us all.

Tonight, the last night before school began, we took a family walk. Well, minus George and Evie who were put into bed at 6:20 tonight. TJ, Thomas, Annie, and myself all walked around the blvd and talked.

The goal was to talk about what they were excited about, nervous about, any goals for the year, and their favorite thing they did this summer. It was nice just being together. I'm always the one who tries to begin conversation. And usually what happens is I will miss a glorious moment we are in the middle of to rush us onto the next moment. Not tonight. When we started walking, no one was really talking. Thomas was throwing rocks trying to hit a pole. Soon TJ was picking up rocks, followed by Annie. I stepped back and just watched them all silently throwing rocks into the field.

I have never been big on change. Even as a little girl I remember dreading when something was changing, or different. And now, watching my own little people grow and change, is so very hard. After we had the kids in bed, TJ and I sat outside on the porch. He said how he is always going to remember them at the age they are right now. I was thinking the same thing. I said to him how long will they think that it is fun when I ask them if they want to go to the Capitol or to cheer when I say we are going to the library? Or to walk outside together? They looked forward to that all day today. What precious moments we are living right now.

While tucking Thomas in bed tonight, I asked him if he will always give me a kiss and hug and tell me he loves me especially when he is in high school. He just gave me that I'm trying not to smile look, and then said that he would.

I am so grateful for them. That I get to be a parent, even on the most difficult days. I just enjoy being with them and watching them play, learn and grow. I think that is why I am so sad to send them to school every single day. A mother's heart has so many worries. I could worry myself to death about their protection, their purity, their influences, their experiences....

St. Michael, please protect them while they are away at school every day. Keep them safe and close to God.

St. Michael the archangel, defend us in battle. Be out protection against the wickedness and snares of the devil. May God rebuke him, we humbly pray and do thou O prince of the heavenly host, by the power of God, cast into hell, Satan and all the evil spirits who prowl through the world seeking the ruin of souls. Amen